Remembrance
by Neffer-Tari
Summary: "My life was such a pain without you. But ever since I met you my days are filled with all kinds of emotions and experiences. You allowed me to feel all of them. In your awkward way and without even realizing it, you... brought life."


Hello!

Here I am again with another Elliot **x** Leo fanfic. I just finished watching Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso so I'm really emotional but I wanted to upload this. I ended up finding a lot of similarities between Kousei and Kaori and Leo and Elliot - I must be going crazy but it makes sense, the music and how much they mean to each other and, well you know, there's also _that_ issue... Either way I was inspired by Shigatsu's music and feelings while writing part of this fic.

I hope you enjoy this little piece of work and thank you for reading. I'm sorry if there's any writing mistake.

Please let me know what you thought of it?

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 **Disclaimer -** Pandora Hearts and Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso don't belong to me.

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 **REMEMBRANCE**

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He was staring so hard at him that the boy felt uncomfortable. And it was about time to feel that way because he had been watched for over than fifteen intense minutes. First he tried to ignore and buried his nose in the book he was reading until that moment but then he started to enjoy the situation. Being watched by Elliot wasn't that bad, it made him acknowledge that he wasn't alone, that someone was there beside him and struggling to get his attention.

Someone was actually _seeing_ him.

However, after that, he started to feel too much observed, stringed and controlled. It was messing up his brain just trying to imagine the tone of those specific eyes.

The soothing melody that filled the room had previously helped him focus on his book, but now it was different. He couldn't concentrate any more, he had lost himself too many times while reading those same lines over and over again, as he tried to ignore the situation and stubbornly refused to give in. He fought it for quite a while, helplessly. He bore with it for as long as he could, but even he must give in some times.

At times like this.

\- What? Can't you play that thing without looking at me? – he asked impolitely and without caring about the other boy's thoughts. He was harsh because he was mad, so damn mad at himself for not being good enough to resist it. He gave up so easily... it was such a nuisance, such a common attitude. He surely was a simple, uninteresting and predictable being.

Elliot watched Leo's almost supernatural stillness. Sitting on the floor while supporting his back on the huge bookshelf which occupied one of the enlightened room's walls, Leo didn't even bothered lifting his head up. _"How annoying"_ , Elliot thought as he stopped playing the piano. Was the song bothering him? Leo didn't usually make any comment about it. Or was it tiresome to be near him? That often wasn't an issue but at that moment it seemed to be. However, he couldn't help it, his servant was, in contrast with him, so peculiar and complex, his company was so addictive, his looks so mysterious… he couldn't help it: he felt attracted to such a messed up and beautiful being. It made his fingers twitch and he always felt the need to let the piano voice it through a ballad honouring chaos, life and friendship. But he couldn't voice it, could he?

Instead…

\- You're so… awkward. – Elliot stated bluntly while he put on his gloves since he wasn't going to continue to play the piano. The comment was made without a hint of fear and deliberately ignoring the thick and huge glasses turning amazingly slow towards him. He hated that trinket. His headstrong servant had no need of wearing it but his insistence on doing so drove him crazy. So much so that Elliot acknowledged his loss in this battle after a few months. He secretly understood why the glasses were so important to Leo.

He used them to hide himself.

But not today. Not now.

Elliot rose like a stoic warrior. He had a slender body and a not very large figure, but his presence was always so overwhelming, so stunning, it was just impossible to ignore him. His master's posture was spotless and he was incredibly well-educated. In fact, he almost seemed like a choir boy who has been very well tamed to follow orders. Almost, because his rebellious hair shamelessly gave him away. A good boy would certainly tame it down, but Elliot just didn't care.

\- Have you looked at yourself? – asked Leo, emotionless – What's with that bed hair of yours, _Master_?

Elliot raised one eyebrow and gave him a mocking smile:

\- Shut up, who the Hell are you to talk?

Unconsciously Leo found himself looking at his own and messy hair bangs. Oh, yes, this time he had to admit it, Elliot was right. He was no one to talk. But... had he ever been _someone_? Melancholy came from nowhere and settled in his stomach. The dark haired boy knew this answer too well, it was always whispered into his ears in the darkness of the night.

\- I am no one. – he whispered, answering the question and reminding himself of it as well. His voice sounded weak but audible and steady. He was used to this. Then he turned his head again to the book he had been reading. Suddenly, facing Elliot become uninteresting and it required an amount of energy that he didn't feel like spending.

Leo's answer and attitude choked Elliot. He'd seen this happen countless times, but he just couldn't get used to it. How could he say such a thing without hesitation? How could he acknowledge such loneliness with cold blood?

What about Elliot?

Would he allow it?

He wouldn't.

Could he allow it?

He couldn't.

\- Tsk. – he walked upset in his direction. Every step he made must have hurt the floor due to his smashing confidence. After that, he graciously knelt in front of Leo, as closer as he could get.

He was amazing.

Elliot was amazing.

The rich boy stretched his hands to his servant's face.

– Take this shit off – he demanded while he shoved Leo's glasses far away without the smallest care.

Leo could almost mentally smile when he heard his voice muttering so close. Elliot complained a lot about small matters using words which possessed an amusing vulgarity. He got fired up so much by trivial situations that it turned out quite hilarious each time it happened. Sadly, Leo was the only one present at those moments.

\- My, what a dirty mouth… - he mocked, though this time it was different. He was no longer sheltered by his huge glasses and his bangs were out of place, so Elliot could perfectly see that his face muscles were relaxed though the corners of his lips were slightly curled, alongside with the tiny wrinkle between his eyebrows. It could almost have passed as a smile, if it had not been for the extremely expressive golden tone of his eyes, which shamelessly showed betrayal. Leo was certainly not happy with Elliot's daring gesture. However, his master couldn't care less about it. The only thing he could see now were those haunted eyes.

They showed him a pure but contained sadness.

A unique, vibrant and secretive tone of gold.

A beautiful, though shattered, disturbing tone of gold.

Elliot hated it.

He placed one of his gloved hands on his servant chin, raising it. He wasn't trying to be gentle but there are things one cannot simply avoid since they are part of oneself. And the care he felt for that single boy had always been a part of him, ever since they first met. He wasn't just going to sit his noble ass and watch Leo sink in the damn clinging Darkness. As if. He'd always be there, fighting against it, hunting down all the brunet's fears and demented thoughts.

\- Listen up, 'cause I won't repeat myself. – he claimed, with a dead serious expression. Leo didn't move because he had no energy to oppose. Not now, not like this, with that pair of turquoises taming him down.

Elliot took a deep breath and started.

\- _You_ – he pronounced it as if he was a superior being – _are_ – stressing it very well, so that no doubt would last after it – _my_ – with the selfishness that only a spoiled noble could play around with – _servant._

Master's blue eyes were ensuring him of that without mercy and, at the same time, were holding him, bringing him into the surface again. He was trying to save Leo from his darkness. However, who's going to save Leo from this tremendous turquoise ocean in which he had been drowning for so long? Who was going to cut the strings that bound him to the kneeling man?

Who'd free him from this miserable dependence?

And then, he realized it.

The answer was obvious: he would.

Leo smiled wickedly. It was the type of smile which would come out from his twisted personality when no one was expecting it. The kind of smile that catches you unarmed and scares you beyond the expected. He reached out his hands, laying them on Elliot's silky neck, holding it in between them. Then, he pressed it in order to make Elliot fall backwards on the ground. He found no resistance while doing so, just that dazzling gaze, completely unchanged. Leo was successful. The noble fell, hitting his back against the floor in order to avoid dying from loss of air. His servant followed him right behind, placing his knees on his torso's sides, so that he could place himself over his master's body. Also, although he softened the pressure, he kept his hands on Elliot's throat.

In response, Elliot grabbed his wrists.

\- There's a difference between that and being a slave, you know? - there was poison in the brunet's words.

He watched Elliot swallowing hard. He diminished the distance between them and continued.

\- I can break free.

\- Don't. – the other boy demanded before he could stop himself. _"Crap"_ , he thought while finally breaking their eye contact. He bit his lip and looked away, trying to hide the slight blush on his cheeks.

That was an interesting reaction. Leo wanted to keep on playing.

\- I won't. – he assured - Because I don't want to, yet.

\- Good. You know I don't want a puppet. – Elliot smirked and proclaimed sharply.

The dark haired boy love it. He loved every tiny piece of this man. If Elliot hadn't appeared in his life who'd he be now? Where would he be? What would he be doing? Most certainly he'd be just an empty shell which had already been consumed by the negativity that always surrounded him. He would have not resisted, putting up just a little fight for a show so that he could simply give in after that without remorse. He'd still be in the darkest corner of his room, freezing his soul to death. He would have been so lonely if Elliot had never shown up…

But he did.

\- What do you want, then?

\- You. - he honestly replied as his cheeks achieved a stronger tone of red.

Leo stayed quiet this time. Hearing those kind of words still made his heart skip a beat and his head go blank.

He clearly remembered that day. The day he had asked him exactly the same thing - _"What do you want?"_ \- and the answer he got - _"You[...]"._ Elliot came into his life and angrily ripped him off his dormancy. He wasn't more than a cocky brat at the time, spoiled until the last bit of his hair, but even so, he managed to reach him in a way that Leo never really understood. Maybe it was due to his childish attitudes which made it so amusing to tease him, or perhaps the reason was his covered blue innocence. He wasn't sure, but one thing he had clear in his mind: once he had met his master, he wanted to be like him. He wanted to learn how could someone hold his head up so high and never bow down. He wanted to be stronger and have a powerful yet graceful presence, as Elliot had. He thought he could learn how to do so if he followed him, he thought he could grow stronger. Yes, that was how the light haired boy had managed to break through his defenses.

He shone so brightly...

\- Oi, say something.

… he definitely was the Sun, wasn't he?

The noble took his hand to his lips and bit the top of one finger, sliding the hand out of the glove at the same time. After this, he put it away but Leo was only aware of his movements once the warm hand touched his face.

\- What's wrong? – there was concern in his voice.

\- Elliot… why have you chosen me?

\- Because I was searching for you: my friend, my equal.

\- That's the answer you always give me. I want the other half of the truth. – he could try to hide it but he knew Elliot would be able to see that he was bothered and pained.

Leo was such a contradiction, one minute he could cunningly bite you with his poison and the next he'd turn into this frail and tormented young man. Elliot never knew which of the Leo's was in front of him, so he needed to push it in order to make him speak. That always gave him away. However, sometimes it was complicated to deal with the situation. Sometimes, Leo drove him into a corner and, despite the fact that he hated the sensation, he was sure those moments were important for both of them.

At those moments, they usually grew closer to each other.

\- Fine – he sighed, his hand still on the other's face, his thumb stroking lightly the other's cheek but just once – I needed you.

\- Y-you did? – Leo almost laughed at the thought of it. How was that possible, Elliot needing a weakling like him?

\- I still do, my life was such a pain without you. – he said, looking straight into the golden eyes – But ever since I met you my days are filled with all kinds of emotions and experiences. You allowed me to feel all of them. – damn, he said all those embarrassing things without stuttering. It was too much, but he needed to finish what he started. _"Who cares, there's nobody else here"_ , he thought, and gathered his noble courage to say what he wanted to say – In your awkward way and without even realizing it, you... brought life.

Leo's lips curved a little.

\- Don't you dare... - Elliot started with aggressiveness in his voice, fearing that Leo would make fun of his bare emotions, even though at times like these that never happened.

\- No – Leo interrupted – I feel the same. You took me from that hole.

Elliot relaxed after hearing those words. He had never been in a hole, he'd always been on a crystal cage. He could not fully understand the angst and sorrow that Leo was constantly tormented with, no matter how many times they talked about it. Leo's mind was fucked up to a certain extent, that much he knew, but he was also aware that he had arrived on time to rescue him, and he was willing to do so. Then, now, in the future. Always. The boy deserved at least that, and that much Elliot was able to do.

But he wanted more.

He wanted it all.

Elliot freed himself from the loose hands on his neck and rose until he sat. He didn't try to get free from Leo's leg restraints. They sat on the floor for a while, just looking at each other, letting the Silence's voice say what they couldn't speak. He wanted to give Leo what he'd given him – all of it during every single day of his life, because it was only since Leo had arrived that the Dawn managed to come. Leo made every morning appear and reach him, provoking on him all those fiery explosions.

Without a word, Elliot broke the body contact and rose up. He went back to the piano, taking off his other glove. While he sat and got ready, his being could only think about it... about him... about them... He wanted to make Leo remember it, forever: to remember him, to know his smile, to never forget the sound of his voice.

He started to play.

The notes flowed and this time Leo didn't try to stop listening. Elliot surely was skilled, but this time the piano had a special tune. The music which came from Elliot's heart was deep, sentimental and touching. He wanted Leo to listen to it. He wanted it to reach him and be engraved in his heart.

He wanted to make Leo never forget just how special and unique he was to him.

How much he held him dear.

How much he trusted him and depended on him.

How fun it was to be with him and what a pain he was sometimes.

How secure he felt by his side.

How much he treasured and needed him.

How much he loved him.

Leo's vision got blurry.

It was overflowing. It was overwhelming.

And Elliot wanted to make him remember it.

He was going to make Leo remember it and never forget, for as long as he lived and even after his death.


End file.
